Oh, Utah…

So my son Alex graduated from Weber State University on Friday, and congratulations to him, but this post isn’t about that.

But every time I have an occasion to read a list of random names here in Utah — a choir concert, an honor roll, or in this case the midwinter graduating class at Weber — I have to look for those Utah names.  You know, those Utah names.  For reasons known only to the Almighty Himself, Utah Mormons have a propensity for saddling their children with names that are not only nontraditional, but completely made up.

So yes, I went through the entire list of graduates and, discounting the names that are unusual but are obviously part of a discrete ethnic tradition (such as the East Asian or Middle Eastern names in evidence), pulled out the following names.  They fall into two distinct categories: 1) “creative” misspellings of names with actual histories and meanings, and 2) utterly fanciful concoctions of vaguely euphonious sounds that would be right at home in indie-published fantasy epic novels.

  • Abbigale
  • Aisha
  • Akeila
  • Alee Cymah
  • Alexxis
  • Alyx
  • Amberly
  • Ambria
  • Ame-Leigh
  • Amira
  • AnnDreya
  • Antonya
  • Baillie
  • Balie
  • Braken
  • Braquel
  • Breanah
  • BreAnna
  • Breelynn
  • Breeyn
  • Brinlee
  • Bryton
  • Camree
  • Caray
  • Chansi
  • Chealsi
  • Cinzia
  • Coty
  • Cristyn
  • Cyler
  • Daisha
  • Daxon
  • Dayna
  • Deloni
  • Etazhanae
  • Ewelina
  • Gregery
  • Hillori
  • Ianina
  • Jaed
  • Jaicey
  • Jalynn
  • Jedwin
  • Jennybeth
  • Jesse Jaymz
  • Joelle
  • Juleen
  • Kamron
  • Kamryn
  • Kaycee
  • Kellen
  • Keslee
  • Kindy
  • Kortnie
  • Kylianne
  • Kyralyn
  • Ladale
  • Landa
  • Lander
  • Latrisha
  • Lynneric
  • MaCauley
  • Mackinsy
  • Margiore
  • Marrianna
  • McKinzy
  • MeriLynn
  • Mikaydee
  • Mikenzey
  • Mikkol
  • Quinsie
  • Rainie
  • Randon
  • Rindi
  • Shalese
  • Shali Lynn
  • Shaton
  • Shayahna
  • Shelena
  • Sierrah
  • Silviya
  • Taelor
  • Taelynn
  • Taylour
  • Tayvia
  • Twishekia
  • Undrae
  • Valaree
  • Wittney

I’m not sure which one is my favorite, but honorable mention goes to “Mikaydee,” especially because the graduation ceremony took place across the street from the McKay-Dee Medical Center.  I guess she should just be grateful she wasn’t born at Ogden Regional instead…

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7 thoughts on “Oh, Utah…”

  1. Must be specific to Utah? I grew up around a lot of Mormons (in Independence, MO) but I remember them having names along the lines of “Josiah,” “Carl,” “Katherine,” and “Adrian,” which don’t seem all that unusual. (OK, maybe “Josiah” is a little old-fashioned. But “Mikkol,” it isn’t.)

  3. That’s a lot of dragon slayers you got there. That and pole dancers. “Shayahna” stood out because (I’m guessing) it’s pronounced Cheyenne-ah, which brings me to my little bad name story.

    As a volunteer service one year, I coordinated the publishing of my daughters’ elementary school directory. Amongst all the Hannahs, Ariels, Tylers, Austins, Micheals, and Jacksons was this jem:

    Shyann

    1. There were at least a couple of Shyanns in the graduation booklet. They’re so common in these parts that they weren’t worth noting.

  4. Hey, I’m glad you got a kick out of my name, and the fact you knew how to pronounce it is awesome. If you want to pile on the humor at this graduation I graduated from the nursing program. So there is a good chance I will work at McKay Dee.

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