Dark Intruder (1965) – When this TV pilot wasn’t picked up, the producers just extended it a little bit (probably just with footage from the cutting room floor, as nothing seems shot to add) and released it theatrically as a B-feature. Leslie Nielsen, before anyone knew he was funny, plays a role that seems like it was written for Vincent Price: A well-educated playboy in 1890s San Francisco, whose flippant manner hides the fact that he is actually an occult scholar and Defender Against Dark Forces. Coming in at a scant 59 minutes, it’s an enjoyable little outing, and gives you insight into one of those historical turning points that are the basis for alternative histories: What if this had starred Vincent Price? Or conversely, what if it had been picked up and wiped the whole Police Squad/Naked Gun franchise from reality?
Gamera 2: Assault of the Legion (1996) – Outer-space cockroaches! Swarms of them! Will Gamera will be able to conquer them? (Hint: He’s in the title of the next movie. The space cockroaches aren’t.)
It had been years since I’d seen the preceding movie, and all I remembered about it is that Steven Seagal’s half-Japanese daughter had a psychic connection to Gamera. Turns out that that was more than I needed to remember — Psychic Seagal does show up, but it’s more that she’s shoehorned into the plot for purely contractual reasons and doesn’t contribute in any way.
Ragnarok (2013) – Norway produces a summer-blockbuster-style monster movie. An offbeat historical researcher believes that the Vikings actually had made it to Finnmark (the northernmost part of Norway, sort of the North Dakota of Scandinavia), and some random artifacts spur him into taking his “summer vacation” there with a fellow researcher (dragging his unenthused children along, too). In a No-Man’s Land of old Soviet territory on the Finnish border, he finds an isolated island in a lake, with plenty of Viking artifacts… and bones that show a violent end. Congratulations, the lake is inhabited by the original of the “Midgard serpent” myth!
There is maybe a little too much Hollywood here; the protagonist is widowed, so there’s the constant subplot of him trying to bond with his children on this admittedly unimpressive summer vacation, and his research partner’s assistant is naturally a hawt (and capable!) blonde (I mean, c’mon, she’s Nordic) with whom the de rigeur romantic signals can take place. But it’s still a solid piece of entertainment.
Abandoned movies:
The Gene Generation (2007) – When the opening of your movie is so heavily weighted with exposition that it threatens to capsize, and all you’ve got to keep it afloat is the charisma of Bai Ling…
Munchies (1987) – I couldn’t even make it through the pre-credits scene. Oh, Harvey Korman, did you really need a paycheck that bad?