Asoka (aka Ashoka the Great) (2001) – Shah Rukh Khan, Bollywood’s answer to Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and Will Smith all rolled into one, stars in a fictionalized historical epic as the title character, the Indian emperor who was instrumental in promoting Buddhism in the 3rd century B.C. However, people who have become non-violent Buddhists already make for boring historical epics, so this covers his early life, his tumultuous relationship with half-brothers who were rivals for the throne, his exile in which he meets the princess-in-hiding of another Indian kingdom, his losses in love which turn him into a bloodthirsty tyrant, and (spoiler) his rejection of his legacy of bloodshed at the very end.
Yes, there are dance scenes. Plus sword fights all over the place, and a battle scene with tons of armored elephants. That’s all I need, really.
The Ballerina (2017) – A very well done indie horror/drama, about a man and his 9-year-old daughter (the titular ballerina) whose life has fallen apart due to a family tragedy, leaving them living in a tent in a backwoods squatters camp. But the daughter is plagued by nightmares intruding into waking life; something keeps trying to lead her back into the swamp…
Granted, there are some problems — the ending goes on for far too long, and spends too much time trying to explain every little thing and tie up every loose end. (And still missing some.)
But what makes this especially impressive is that Steve Pullen is the first-time writer, director, editor AND star, and pulls it all off. Even more impressive? His nine-year-old daughter is played by… his nine-year-old daughter, and she’s terrific.
The Angry Red Planet (1959) – It’s slow, it’s padded, it’s got only the barest whisper of a plot, the final climax has to happen off-screen because of budget… There are only two reasons that people remember this movie:
- The Martian batspiderthing marionette that appears on the poster.
- The Martian exterior shots were filmed in black-and-white, then overexposed/solarized, then treated with an orange filter. It gives an otherworldly vibe to what would otherwise be cardboard sets.
Also of note: Leading lady Nora Hayden’s face looks like she was drawn by Jack Kirby. No, seriously, look:
Abandoned movies:
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006) – Nobody cares about doing a slow burn anymore.
Jack Kirby (a.k.a. Jacob Kurtzberg) drew people mostly the way they’d looked in his crowded urban neighborhood in Lower Eastern Manhattan… so, I’m guessing that gal (and that guy, for that matter) probably also originated from somewhere in that general vicinity.