As is our traditional, Friday night was our Halloween movie marathon. Alex, Sariah and Emma assembled (plus Alex’s fiancée, who finally doesn’t work a night job and can participate), chicken fingers and pizza and chips with queso were brought out, the lights dimmed, and the movies began!
The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon (2008) – But let’s start with a short subject! A ten-minute ersatz trailer for a relentless horror movie about a supernatural killer thumping his victim with a spoon… again… and again… and again… and again… and again… and again… and again… and again… and again…
(I mean, with this one it’s nonsensical to put the trailer for it here because it is a trailer, but…)
Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1953) – My kids have all seen A&C Meet Frankenstein multiple times, but they had never seen this one. Fresh laughs! I mean, not “fresh-fresh,” as the Boys rely on shtick and Costello mugging, but… dang, it’s still good. (Sariah: “So every Abbott & Costello monster movie revolves around gaslighting.”) I was so proud when everyone laughed at all the right places. I parented right!
Ghost (1990) – None had seen this before, but they all recognized it as “the one with that pottery scene, right?” Whoopi Goldberg is best known these days as an odious political commentator, so it’s good to be reminded that she had some serious comedy chops. Vincent Schiavelli is always a delight (Alex: “So he’s Morpheus now! ‘Do you think that’s air you’re breathing?'”). I just hope they kept Demi Moore hydrated on the set, because that was a LOT of crying.
The Giant Claw (1957) – Oh, this is a gem — I’d forgotten how wonderful it is. Even without the special effects, you’d have all of the highlights of that script: the Male Aggression and Apology Club, the horrific French-Canadian accent, proof positive that women secretly love mashers, the spurious spiral on the map, “science” that makes real science cry, the use of “battleship” as a common unit of measurement… But that all pales beside the titular creature, a giant flying turkey (with an anti-matter forcefield) that looks like a Muppet with a glandular condition. It tickles my soul that someone thought, “You know what this ungainly, cartoonish puppet really needs? Twitchable nostrils!” Every time the Anti-Matter Turkey showed up, I giggled uncontrollably.
(And no, the trailer doesn’t play coy with the titular creature. This no Night of the Lepus here.)
Then Alex and co. went home, and Michele went to bed, so it was just me and the girls for:
Bad Taste (1987) – While the girls had an academic interest in Peter Jackson’s first film (“Check it out — he’s both characters in this scene, and you can’t tell!”), they didn’t appreciate the gore. Even though it was funny gore. So we turned it off halfway. Alas.
The Monster in the Closet (1986) – Ah, many funnybones were hit (Sariah: “This is the best shower scene ever!“), even if neither got the Closer Encounters riff. (I’m sure I’ve shown that to at least one of them… maybe?) Also, both girls — that’s a 100% of our random sampling — thought that the cute, Clark Kentish reporter was actually cuter with his glasses on.
Shaun of the Dead (2004) – I was a little worried as to how this would be received, after the negative reaction to the gore of Bad Taste, but the girl loved it. (“I’m getting an Arthur Dent vibe from him,” said Sariah, and then when Martin Freeman shows up as pretty much a carbon copy of Shawn… Vindicated!)
And then it was 3:15 am, and while I could have watched another movie (and Sariah was all for it), some quick math told me what time it would be when it ended, so I declared Sariah THE WINNER, and headed to bed. (And then the dog, whose sleep schedule was terribly messed up by all of this frivolity, got lonely and kept ringing the bell for the back door just so someone would get up and pet her.)