(I posted this to social media yesterday, and I’m so darned proud of it that I’m putting it here for posterity.)
You may have heard that six of Dr. Seuss’ books are no longer going to be published because they “portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong” and are no longer being published due to racist and insensitive imagery. Those six are:
• And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street
• If I Ran the Zoo
• McElligot’s Pool
• On Beyond Zebra!
• Scrambled Eggs Super!
• The Cat’s Quizzer
Less well reported is that many of Seuss’ other books, while not being unpublished, will be released in a revised form to conform to today’s sensibilities:
• The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, One For Every Gender
• Horton Hatches the Egg Because Patriarchally Imposed Roles Don’t Define Xem
• Horton Hears the WHO and Obediently Masks Up
• How the Grinch Replaced Christmas with “Inclusive Non-Religious Winter Festival”
• One Fish Two Fish Either Answer is Okay Because Math is Racist
• Cage-Free Green Eggs and Low-Sodium Soy Product
• The Sneetches and Other Stories [no change to the title, but the story ends with the star-bellied Sneetches being condemned for perpetuating a system of endemic racism and forced to apologize every day for the rest of their lives]
• Hop on Pop Who May or May Not Have a Vagina
• Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You? Discovering the Wonderful World of Furries
• Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Stop Colonizing My Safe Space
• Oh, the Thinks You Can’t Think Because They’re Wrongthink
• Oh, the Places You Won’t Go Because You Don’t Want Grandma to Die, Do You?